That's when you crack a 10am beer
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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