goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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