Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
