I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
