I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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