In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize