At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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