So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
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We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
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