I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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