You're so nebulous sometimes
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
