the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
