No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
