guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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