Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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