DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
last night I used snow as a chaser
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
