Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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