how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
only you would photoshop your dick
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
