Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Randomize
