we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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