Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
