I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
