you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
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