just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
