I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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