Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
you would pick up someone in the library
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
