No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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