If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
