Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
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