I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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