I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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