This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
