You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
