you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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