ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Randomize
