We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
