My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
