shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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