they need to just BURY HIM!
i will never coherently bang her
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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