So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
