Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
