did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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