No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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