I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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