Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
