I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
