I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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