I didn't shave. On purpose
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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