Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
