True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
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