Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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