pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
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