Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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