We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Randomize
