I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Randomize
