Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I touched a dick in church today
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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