More tranny stories later!
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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