P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
