The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
