sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
honey bunches of taint.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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