I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
