How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
