saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
