dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Randomize
