There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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