Fine. I'll sleep in my office
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
it glows. i had to have it.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
