A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
