This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Randomize
