I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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