your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
