so that wasnt chicken after all
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
