im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Randomize
