Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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